Misadventures of

Matchmaker

2007-01-14T17:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wish that I could be matchmaker on Craig's List. Like these next two ads. I wish I could get these three guys together (of course I would really really want to watch).

If this guy. . .

2007-01-14T17:28:00.000-08:00

I need to be raped - 19

Reply to: pers-262691397@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-01-14, 12:58PM EST

I want a dom top who needs to pound out a nice ass. I want a guy who will take control and give me a serious rape scene -- force fuck my face, my ass, whatever way you want -- hard and fast, slow and gentle, raw or wrapped.

It can be just one top, you, it can be you and some friends, or you can tell me it's just you and have some friends surprise me. I want a serious rape scene where I'm held down, fucked and used however you want. BB is ok -- anything is OK -- it's not up to me, it's up to you.

Can't host. Don't be gentle, don't be shy -- use my body however you want. Tear my pussy open and seed it deep. You can leave me whimpering, dripping and bleeding if you like.

. . . could meet these guys

2007-01-14T12:06:00.000-08:00

victim needed

rape victim needed - 24

Reply to: pers-262691397@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-01-13, 5:00AM EST
2 young fit guys in their early 20s. Into wrestling, spanking, fingering, water sports, spit, verbal abuse, fucking, and bjs.
You: be under 28, fit, and down to be raped.
Send a pic that shows your face-bod, or your message will be deleted. We have more pics.

We can host or travel.

x

Suicidal 20 Something Bareback Slut #1

2007-01-10T20:58:00.000-08:00

OK, I can't deny that I am not fascinated with young guys who are either A.) actively pursuing HIV infection or B.) passively allowing it through total disregard for even the most basic safe guards. Now it is true that just asking is not enough. An ex-fuckbuddy of mine tried the "take their word for it" method of safer sex and he is now spending the money he used to spend on tuition on anti-retrovirals.

Anyhow, a couple weeks back I was supposed to hook up with this new guy. I went to meet him and he ditched me. I am pretty sure that he found another guy just minutes after he told me to come over and didn't have the courage to just tell me, so he went sneaking around to avoid me and hook up with him. Now this is bad form and cowardly (although I will admit the other guy was hotter -- I saw him in the vestibule -- but that is not the point).

Anyhow a couple nights later I saw another one of his postings and I was tempted to cause him to lose an hour of his life traveling to and from some location near by just to exact my revenge. This time he was looking to "party" and get fucked raw. Here is how the exchange went. I posed as a guy with a good drug dealer willing to get him high and bareback him.

FakeDudeJosh@Yahoo.com:
whatsup? still hosting?
got a face pic?
u neg?

hotbbbottom@gmail.com:
yeah when are u free?

FakeDudeJosh@Yahoo.com:
ah, poz here u neg? into that?

hotbbbottom@gmail.com:
im not sure i dont care if youre poz when are u free where at?

FakeDudeJosh@Yahoo.com:
bushwick, u host or travel? live alone? got FG? BF?

hotbbbottom@gmail.com:
single u? live alone.... ridgewood.... prefer host for anon fuk u? how hung??? u part or use poppers?

FakeDudeJosh@Yahoo.com:
looking to host here, i would want to cum inside you. u chasing?

hotbbbottom@gmail.com:
whats chasing mean? do u party at all?

FakeDudeJosh@Yahoo.com:
chasing = looking to get poz. i am not in aids drugs yet so my viral load is pretty high.
i have some coke here, but wasn't looking to get into that on a weeknight. got work tomorrow.
maybe another day.
u into groups?

hotbbbottom@gmail.com:
love groups who else u got in mind to play with? howhung are u... more pics? im just not sure of my status so i really dont care

FakeDudeJosh@Yahoo.com:
got guys in the hood here into groups. one guy who pozzed me up. i am sure he would love to meet you.
about 7". u have more pics? face?

hotbbbottom@gmail.com:
u have their pics? how olds he? who else... let me know who u can get together might be fun to parrty some be hot to get a lil messed up and hae u pimp my ass out have it used by one guy after noather into that?

FakeDudeJosh@Yahoo.com:
cool so you into traveling? they are older, 34 and 41, into that? u into heavy ass play? fisting?

hotbbbottom@gmail.com:
hmmm not really into older guys got a pic of the 34yo? may take fisting not sure want to have my ass whored out tho

FakeDudeJosh@Yahoo.com:
he isn't online right now. ill have him send to you when he comes on if you want.
u looking for now? willing to travel?

hotbbbottom@gmail.com:
ill travel but really prefer to do some partying and prefer u to have dudes lined up to use my ass

FakeDudeJosh@Yahoo.com:
ok, i might have to meet my dealer in the city, you up late tonight?
got more face pics?

hotbbbottom@gmail.com:
who deals to u? yeah im up late and off tomorrow so i can play all night... get some bois to come back from the city u got more pics?

FakeDudeJosh@Yahoo.com:
i sent three you sent one.
ok, gonna head out in about thirty minutes, ski or Tina? anything else?

hotbbbottom@gmail.com:
i really dont know much about partyin.... had something put in my butt once that felt good.....

So at this point I was feeling so sorry for him and at the same time so glad I didn't hookup with him in the first place that I couldn't bare to go through with my cruel vengence.

[An hour later.]

hotbbbottom@gmail.com:
just call me when u get home walkin away from computer 202 489 5710

Hustler #1

2007-01-09T17:27:00.000-08:00

I spend a lot of time (perhaps too much) rubbernecking on Craig's List. Sure I have used it to hookup with varying degrees of success, but I spend most of my time just surveying the scene and getting to know the sides of people that come out when they can post anonymously.

I have decided to take a little time to shine the light on the Hustlers, Flaggers, Fakes (I'll have to be the worst to really get into the corners) along with the guys who are there for what M4M is supposedly about.

Here is my fist Hustler:

YOUNG 11 INCH COCK FOR OLDER --- REAL - 23 (Midtown)
Reply to: pers-260202819@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-01-09, 8:04PM EST

total str8 top here
tall & in shape
11" inches all real
what you see is what you get.
have more pics & web cam to PROOF IT
no email tag games,Im looking for now.
any generous older dudes?
i need my cock sucked
in the pic my cock is not hard..
see it hard live.
send stats,pic...

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

The Pied Piper of Indie Rock Drunks!

2006-11-15T07:10:00.000-08:00

Monday was my fifth time seeing Robert Pollard (second time Pollard as "Pollard" and not GBV). We arrived at the venue at about 9pm just in time to catch one of the opening acts, "Starling Electric". My friend sees many shows at the Bowery Ballroom and she tells me that the second of two opening acts MUST be next because it is so early. I disagree, but I am not so sure until I see a stack of clean white hand towels and pint bottles of Poland Spring waters. "Oh, everyone gets that", she says. "Wait until the bottle of whiskey comes out," I respond. The joke gets a couple chuckles from another friend who was a Pollard virgin until the last show in the Spring. Seconds later a bus-tub full of Miller Lite and a full 750ML bottle of Ceurvo are set next to the drum kit. "Ha! I was wright -- except it was tequila and not whiskey!"

Officially the show was not sold out, but the true fans were right out front.

Pollard: "We only come to New York 3 or 4 times a year!"

A cute, scruffy fan (the only person drunker than Pollard before the first song began) starts dancing frantically. While the entire crowd wasn't as enthusiastic as those up front, he was not alone. He was grabbed for the first time by the bouncer but came back just a few songs later. Several guys then surrounded him catching him and tossing him back into the center each time he got out of control. He staged dived twice, and the second time he was "removed" for several more songs.

Pollard was playing songs from Normal Happiness and From a Compound Eye mostly, unlike the other Pollard tours where he played PLENTY of GBV. Generally the crowd was OK with it. They were true fans and not hung up on details like GBV v. BP. Just once did I hear someone yell out for GBV.

The second time dude took off from the stage I was there to keep him from getting stomped after the initial crash from the stage. By this time i was loving him, not just because he was drunk and cute and reckless, but because he cared more than anyone. Just before the end of the regular set he went up for the last time. The boys took him away. I followed. "He is with me!, I'll take charge. Let him back in." "Step inside or you will be tossed as well!" I wend around one last time but got the same answer. Pollard was about to go back on. The cute scruffy boy was tossed. There was nothing to be done. Except. . .

Pollard: "When you motor away. . . "

The crowd it responded with unbridled enthusiasm when Pollard started kicking out the GBV for the encore. The driving eighth note guitar riff that began the song was electric. Pollard offered his Tequila one last time to the audience. I reached up and grabbed it and took a huge swig. At that moment, as if possessed I hoisted myself up on the stage and took a dive. I don't remember jumping or how I did it or how long I stayed up, but seconds later I was back on my feet astonished at the things I'll do on brownliquor.

Pollard: "The Goldheard mountain top, Queen directory!"

Met the cute mosh boy again on the Z train back to Brooklyn. He had sobered up a bit and was ready to talk. I filled him in on the encore, but he knew as he was listening right outside. Uncle Bob sounded great. The band did too.

Studs 'N Spurs

2006-10-16T12:02:00.000-07:00

So was out in the suburbs this past weekend and I decided to test the limits of inappropriate behavior ala Mark Foley. These boys agreed to pose for some pictures and I was able to get one to take his shirt off before I gave them sexually suggestive material and asked them to comment on it.

OK, that would be really creepy if it were true, but remember this is a fiction blog. I am pretty sure it was taken by some girl on the cross-country team at whatever-high, but I still am totally curious about the context. They seem to be quite taken by this "hunk" calendar. I am wondering how long it took before someone to got called a fag.

Sorry

2006-09-12T20:22:00.000-07:00

I take it all back. Now please, come back to bed.

Massimo

2006-09-12T20:17:00.000-07:00

Massimo wants to split up the drugs now because he tells his girlfriend it is coke.

What boys want.

2006-09-12T20:12:00.000-07:00

What do I want in a boyfriend?

Same as any other guy. A father figure who will give me sex, money, and love while I treat him like an ungrateful little fuck.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2006-09-10T14:40:00.000-07:00

Elway

Montana

Marino

Please rank them one through three based on your own criteria.

Gay Against You!

2006-09-06T09:20:00.000-07:00

So this stuff is off the charts for my taste musically, but here goes. Gay Against You is a Glaswegian duo in the ever popular Electro-Noise-Pop genre.

Is it possible that I find their music more enjoyable because they are so fucking cute in the ways I find most appealing -- skinny, dirty and freaky?

Gay Unicorn is their catchiest offering.

P.S. -- Special thanks to Fancy Speed Queen for the recommendation.

child's play

2006-09-04T00:19:00.000-07:00

seriously i should have known. he pretended like he was the big man. he was nothing. poor boy took that whole bottle of pills. fucking devastating. i feel kinda guilty of course, but at the beginning of it all he had that competent drugs user demeanor. it's unfortunate that anyone that beautiful would not be thought of in that manner -- in control, self actualized. it wasn't a suicide it was a fucking rookie mistake.

i am glad i took the label off that bottle!

19YO Male Seeks Rough Rider -- Bareback Only!

2006-09-02T17:47:00.000-07:00

M or F, doesn't matter, but please be over 15 hands.

Seeking bottom only -- under 2 years old.

I like it Au Naturale, skin to skin so please keep your judgements to yourself!

Hanging Out After the Show

2006-08-31T09:02:00.000-07:00

Chet: Cool party, you know the girl whose place this is?
Sammy: Yeah, Benny – she works at the club with us.
Chet: Oh, cool. Everyone at the venue was cool and really helpful with the show tonight.
Sammy: Thanks, most of us who work there are in bands too so we know what it’s like. Which band are you with?
Chet: The opener, Brothers and Sisters. Well actually I’m just the all purpose roadie and backup percussionist and driver.
Sammy: Very cool. You guys have a great sound. I loved that song you closed with, Without You. My band is trying that layered multi-vocalist thing as well – me, Benny, Stuart, who you met, and Pete the guy over there talking to Benny.
Chet: Oh that dude with the freaky long hair and the beard?
Sammy: Yeah that’s Pete. He’s my roommate too.
Chet: Ah, he kinda weirds me out. I keep catching him checking me out.
Sammy: Ha, yeah, well he kinda likes dudes and well, you are. . . um, handsome.
Chet: (Laughs).
Sammy: I like your tattoo.
Chet: Oh, thanks. Hey, can I bum a smoke?

This Blog Needs Women!

2006-08-28T20:40:00.000-07:00

Just like a fag to go on and on about droll and vacuous boys whose only redeeming quality is their ability to disassociate during sex enough that I can feed my narcissism without being interrupted by their needs.

With that said, I can't claim that any of these women are real redheads, but they are awesome composers and performers.

Suzanne Vega

Today I am
A small blue thing
Like a marble
Or an eye

With my knees against my mouth
I am perfectly round
I am watching you

Tori Amos

Years go by and I'm here still waiting Withering where some snowman was
Mirror mirror where's the crystal palace
But I only can see the myself
Skating around the truth who I am
But I know dad the ice is getting thin

Neko Case

Another suicide
On the 405
The Black Dahlia
She smiles and smiles
It’s the same old town that bled her dry
One more starlet one more time
Bound to make it do or die

josh

2006-08-27T09:17:00.000-07:00

me: dude, that gun is real isn't it?
josh: yeah, it's my dad's. he says being an assistant DA automatically makes him a deputy sheriff in this county.
me: oh right. . . um he isn't coming home tonight right? (nervous giggle)
josh: (pause . . . blank stare) no, u have those pills?
me: yeah sure here, my co-worker said she got a different script anyhow, she said these made her barf
josh: right, what did she get this time?
me: i don't remember, but i think these ones are stronger anyhow
josh: cool, these are all for me?
me: yeah, yeah. . . um, its not my thing.
josh: ok, thanks
me: so you really like looking at yourself in the mirror with that gun to your head don't you?
josh: um, yeah.
me: what do you think about?
josh: movies where dudes get their brains get splattered on a wall.
me: makes sense. do you want to die?
josh: of course.
me: oh. you into pain?
josh: not really.
me: cool, cool. but you won't really do it right?
josh: i want to watch it. like in super slow motion. if i could do it and be outside my body and be able to watch it again and again for eternity i would do it. but i know if i really do it i won't be able to watch. it'll just all be over. and no one would be able to appreciate it. especially my fucking asshole father.
me: true. hey why do you snort it?
josh: cause it's gonna make me barf. i don't want to waste any.
me: ah

Dan Bejar

2006-08-25T06:15:00.000-07:00

I can't get enough Dan Bejar these days (a.k.a. Destroyer). Brilliant lyrics! For random bits go here. For the entire body of work lyrically go here. Also, check out the album Your Blues for his most cohesive and recent work or you can hear his influence everywhere on Twin Cinema his latest album with Canadian "Supergroup" The New Pornographers.

Mixed Messages

2006-08-22T18:49:00.000-07:00

So my longest running current fuck buddy calls late at night this past week. He never calls late. He never, in fact, actually calls either. I usually get an instant message or a txt and he always (historically) comes during daylight. This schedule isn't really strange as he works in some downtown bar. The kind of bar that has a permanently sticky floor, low drop ceilings and no glasses (Everyone gets plastic no exception!). He likes it that way 'cause he has to clean up and at the end of the night he gets lazy and tosses the ice and leftover liquid towards the edges of the concrete floor where it can easily drain away.

Anyhow when I fuck him he is usually in this brain-dead, hung-over, spaced-out state that makes the violence of the sex almost imperceptible to him (Of course that is my impression based on his affect). Generally, if I am not rough enough with him I hear about it later and he punishes me by withholding sex for a longer period of time -- several weeks or a month instead of every week or two.

Well, the other night he comes over at night -- strange. And he is clearly a little messed up as he is slurring his words and has that clumsy sway as he walks. For some reason I decided to kiss him shortly after we got naked. I've kissed him before, but only in the context of humiliating him (don't ask me why he feels that way about it). The kiss obviously pisses him off 'cause he becomes violent with me. Swinging, slapping and basically trying to squirm away. As I try to subdue him he (I think accidentally) head butts me. I instantly and instinctively punch him in the mouth. Surprised but not stunned he holds his mouth and rolls over for me passively. I continue about my business as he claws into the arm I have locked around my neck.

Needless to say when I am done I am slightly concerned that I had gone too far as we had clearly decided that while most things go, bruises above the neck were clearly verboten. He seems pretty pissed and retreats to the bathroom with his clothes. He emerges quickly and heads right for the door without our usual perfunctory parting handshake.

Well talk about mixed messages? He contacted me the next day online and was particularly turned on by the entire encounter as he passed out later that night jerking off for the third time thinking about it! Well maybe I am getting old, but I just wanted to kiss him. Obviously he isn't cool with that.

Oh well.

Funny.

2006-08-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't this be funny?

Wouldn't it be funny if there were some sort of global disaster like a nuclear war or a giant meteorite hitting the Earth? And wouldn't it be even funnier if we had to scavenge for food during a brief Summer in order survive the cold desolate Winters? And wouldn't it be even funnier if all the people who got gastric bypass surgery were unable to store enough fat to survive this nuclear Winter? I think that would be funny. We can laugh about it as we eat Al Roker.

Funny right?

Materazzi

2006-07-13T07:24:00.000-07:00

Zidane: "He called me a dirty terrorist and said he wished a horrible death to my whole family after the vicious rape of my sister and mother!"

Materazzi: "Yes, I insulted him. But I said nothing about his mother. To me, a mother is sacred."

(Wow, two mother references in two posts! People will say anything in the heat if the moment. The only real retaliation is winning. Sorry Zidane.)

Don't click here (or here either).

Rafael...

2006-07-07T13:55:00.000-07:00

If you find yourself alone and horny on Sunday morning at 9am and you can't find your copy of Bareback Soccer Punks, I highly recommend the Wimbledon Gentlemen's finals featuring French open champion Rafael Nadal of Spain. A little factoid about Nadal from this week's tennis coverage: Raffa loves his mother.

After This I'll Shut up...

2006-07-07T08:12:00.000-07:00

about Okkervil River.

First, here is the link about the show next week. Here is a picture of lead singer Will Scheff who is cute, but far hotter when you know how great his music is.

Most importantly, here is his eloquent essay on file sharing and his very important artistic opposition to the practice. An excerpt:

"When I was a kid, I’d listen to the same records over and over and over again, as if I was under a spell. The record would end and I’d flip it over again, doing absolutely nothing, letting the music wash over me. My favorite record albums become like a totem for me, their big fat beautiful gatefolds worked as a shield against the loud, crashing, crushing world. I would have laid down my life and died in defense of a record like Tonight’s the Night or Astral Weeks. I felt that those records had, in some ways, saved my life. These days, with all the choice in the world, it’s hard for me find the attention span for a single album. I put my iPod on shuffle and skip impatiently to the next song before each one’s over. I don’t even know what I’m looking for."

Stella

2006-06-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

This is Stella. As you may have guessed Stella is a dog. To understand Stella, I should start with the seemingly banal fact that she is a huge Yankees fan. If there is a game on and I go to visit her, she’ll be listening. What might this say about her personality? Well the thing about Stella is that she only respects power and not just power as potential power, but raw power expressed. She sees winning and control as tantamount to life and death. We quibble over the $200+ million dollar payroll and the fairness of such inequities and she simply scoffs. “Of course” she says “if you have $200 million to spend to win you do it. If you don’t have $200 million you lose, sorry.” Well that’s just Stella I guess. I once saw her latch on to the face of a dog 3 times her size because he just considered eating her food. It took three grown men to separate them. I fear she would be a Republican if she cared about politics. Oh, also Stella is dominant heterosexual pedophile. If I take her to the dog park she is always trying to mount boy puppies. She humps away as if she had the equipment to do so. In this respect I can kinda understand her. I mean if I were a dog I might do the same thing. Just look at those puppy dog eyes. They are just asking for it.

Oh yeah, I hate the Yankees only slightly less than the Dallas Cowboys.

I am still younger than Jared Leto

2006-06-15T10:44:00.000-07:00

So my birthday is at the end of this month. Thinking about it has made me a little down lately. When I feel this way I often play this little game I call, "at least he is older than me!" Anyhow, as I pretended to do work yesterday I came across a really lame video by 30 Seconds to Mars on the VH1 website (google it motherfucker, I am too old and cranky go give you the link). Anyhow, as I considered how much it sucked I thought, hmm, he can't be older than me -- I mean he played a highschool kid when I was like in grad school. So anyhow I feel better about being a year older now because I am much younger than Jared Leto.

Okkervil River

2006-06-14T11:59:00.000-07:00

(I took out the embedded video not because people complained, but because the host has been having problems lately. Here is the link to all the good videos posted. Hopefully it will be back up soon.)

Okkervil River's latest release Black Sheep Boy offers hope to the world that the "concept album" is not dead. This song follows a shorter prologue song. Buy this album. Put it right next to OK Computer and The Software Slump. Put your headphones on and listen to the whole thing at once. Don't eat, don't read and definately step away from your computer during the entire experience. This is not part of a larger soundtract to your life. It is a work of art. Now pay attention.

Roll me a joint and meet me here, its free!

Snuggle Buddy dot Com

2006-06-10T09:53:00.000-07:00

So just as the dotcom bubble was at its peak in 2001 I ran a short-lived dating site called "SnuggleBuddy.com". I was pretty sure at the time there was a need for a "hookup" site where people could meet people for some NSA spooning. Well, I made a few mistakes. First, we launched during the hottest month of a very hot Summer -- July. Our preliminary surveys had all been done in February and we failed to account for these "environmental" factors. Second, we did a little to much advertising on hard-core sex sites, so many of the members were, to say the least, a little too aroused to maintain the ethos of SnuggleBuddy, i.e. no sex. We got numerous complaints from our "inside" spooners that the "outside" spooners were trying to um. . . rearrange the utensil drawer in the middle of the night. Finally there was that whole 9/11 thing and the venture capitalists turned a little skittish. To this day they still talk about the $2.3 million like it is a lot of money! PLEASE! Launch party? Hall and Oates don't come free.! (Well Oates sometimes does, but there was agreement among the product managers that duality of Hall and Oates was needed to really drive home the SnuggleBuddy.com story).

Anyhow, for those of you who remember Perry and Jason from the Good Morning America! segment on SnuggleBuddy.com there is news! They are headed up to Vancouver over Labor Day Weekend with their friends and family to get married! To me it was just like yesterday when Perry --

Outsider/vers spooner seeks insider/vers under 5'10". Must prefer to sleep on their right side (80% of the time?). Sorry, no pets, no real down/feather bedding. Can host or travel.

met Jason--

TOTAL 100% Insider seeks taller 100% Outsider! Lets sleep in!

Word from Perry is that he still has yet to get on the inside of the spoon. Word from Jason is that their SnuggleBuddy profiles are like a pre-nuptual agreement! But they are still in love and to me $2.3 million is a small price to pay!

Unscientific survey

2006-06-09T10:38:00.000-07:00

3 out of 4 boys/men that I have sex with prefer the pink American Apparel briefs. Fascinating.

Playoff Beard

2006-06-09T09:09:00.000-07:00

With the World Cup of "Football" right around the corner and with the unfortunate lopsidedness of the Stanley Cup Finals I decided to take this opportunity to pay homage to the awesomely sexy nature of the hockey playoff beard. I have a beard right now. I don't know if it actually makes me more attractive (empirical evidence would say no), but I think I look cooler and tougher.

Welcome to Williamsburg!

2006-06-06T09:24:00.000-07:00

PLEASE DON'T FEED THE LOCALS!

my good deed of the day: Craigslist Sucks!

2006-06-03T10:54:00.000-07:00

cute fem chubby guy is giving great oral today no oral recip - 39
Reply to: anon-XXXXXXXXXX@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-03, 12:37PM EDT

5 feet 11 inches tall 285 pound smooth cuite fem chub bottom oral guy is giving great oral service today NSA no oral recip needed just nipple play open to all men i am hosting today in greenpoint available in the afternoon extremelye discreet clean safe e-mail me your stats and lets meet

RE: CUTE CHUBBY - 39
Reply to: anon-XXXXXXXXXX@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-03, 1:04PM EDT

WHO YOU KIDDING? AT 285 YOU ARE FAT, AT 39 YOU ARE NO LONGER CUTE - GET OVER YOURSELF!

RE: RE: Chubby 39 -- Hater, you suck - 33
Reply to: anon-XXXXXXXX@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-03, 1:35PM EDT

That is totally not cool. Someone out there thinks that 285lb guy is cute and thinks of his size as chubby and not fat.

This guy is being honest about who he is. Why would you need to be so mean to someone you don't know? Can't you just leave it alone?

I mean if he was lying that would be a different thing.

39yo chubby guy, i hope you find the hottest possible chubby chaser today!

Tony likes to bareback teen rentboys!

2006-05-28T11:19:00.000-07:00

I know this guy Tony. He works for the city. He is a bureaucrat in the office of procurement or some shit like that. Anyhow, as you can see from his instant messanger name he lives in Bensonhurst in a rather large apartment. Everything in his apartment is as cheesy as possible while still only being either white or black in colour (read porcelain dog sculpture).

Tony loves cocaine and hustlers. I met him in 1998 or 99 when guys still used AOL to hookup. I used think he sleaziness was kinda cool. He is kinda hot except that he is a jerk and has an almost incomprehensible Brooklyn accent.

Anyhow, I haven't hung out with him for like 3 or 4 years, but he still messages me from time to time to ask me about all the hot boys I fuck. Sometimes I tell him the truth and sometimes I make shit up (depending on how I am doing). The other day Tony messages me to see if I'll join him when he buys this kid from Minnesota. Here is their conversation:

BensonhurstDude: hey, I like your pics. I send mine. i would love to chat with you.
BoiBabyBLue: hi, scort only here sorry if you're not interested... otherwise hit me back!
Bensonhurst: Dude. just might be. your are really cute

BoiBabyBlue: thanks!

BensonhurstDude: is that you getting fucked or you fucking in that pic?

BoiBabyBlue: hehe, ohyeah that one. me getting fucked

BensonhurstDude: nice, rates? into?

BoiBabyBlue: y don't you tell me what you want and we'll work something out

me getting fucked... rates depend on travel/what you want to etc... so why

don't you tell me what you want and we'll work something out

BensonhurstDude: i would love to fuck you. neg here. i can pick you up if you want.

where are you?

BoiBabyBlue: 200 for an hour but I'm not in NYC right now...

BensonhurstDude: damn, when you coming?

BoiBabyBlue: i'm moving back June 15th

BensonhurstDude: awesome, can't wait.

ill list you.

u have a sugar daddy you are moving in with or just taking care of stuff

on your own?

u perfer bareback?

BoiBabyBlue: i'm moving in with my bf, no sugar daddy just scort...bb is extra

BensonhurstDude: cool, how much to BB and shoot my load inside?

BoiBabyBlue: 250 for bb 275 to cum inside

BensonhurstDude: done. u looking to get poz? just curious. 100% clean here.

BoiBabyBlue: no looking to NEVER EVER get poz

BensonhurstDude: awesome. how come you are moving to NYC?

BoiBabyBlue: I used to liev there moved away for a show and now am moving back

BensonhurstDude: cool, u are an actor?

BoiBabyBlue: yeah went to college out there

BensonhurstDude: cool, can't wait to meet you

BoiBabyBlue: awesome

Anyhow, Tony sent me the barebacking pic. This 19 year old kid really does do it. The pic up there isn't the one from Tony. I decided to just use the pic of a pornstar instead, but "BoiBabyBlue" is actually cuter than that kid. I figured I would blog about it to ensure that I won't do it. Plus I don't do coke anymore. Although I do have the kid's email and evidently he will be here soon! Comment if you want me to pass it on to you!

Jesse . . .

2006-05-26T10:50:00.000-07:00

barely more solid than the souls he tried to save

or maybe his beauty betrayed the wear his hardest years had caused

just old on the inside

to him i would always be one of them

the taker

the buyer

the abuser

if i had nothing maybe he would hide his contempt

if i had something to sell maybe he would love me too

Tras el cristal

2006-05-22T17:16:00.000-07:00

Someone challenged me today to recall a film, book or TV show that had caused a great trauma (here is the first of his list of 10 posts, 2-9 should be there on the right).

The first film to come to mind to me was Tras el cristal by the Spanish director Agustí Villaronga (released in English under the name In a Glass Cage). I saw it for the first time in college. I was around 19. It left an indelible mark. To get an idea of the kind of things that happen in the film you can read a nice concise summary of what goes on in this Australian Government Document in which the film was refused classification.

I only rented the film once in the early 90s. For me, reading the memo brings the most traumatic major scenes back. I might actually consider the Australian Government's position to be the right one. While the work has a right to exist as there is no explicit call to violence, the act of having child actors (presumably as young as 8?) enact the scenes is a little fucked up and unethical. I am reminded of Gregg Araki's discussion of the diligence needed to direct child actors in sexual situations in Mysterious Skin. He mentioned the need for the children to be filmed separately and for them to actually not have a clear understanding of what the scene is about. The nature of the scenes in Araki's film, based on Scott Heim's most excellent book, hardly compare in their brutality of what is depicted in Tras el Cristal.

Strangely, I don't think I would see it again and so I don't recall if it is possible that the scenes could be ethically shot in the way that Mysterious Skin was. This is not a blanket endorsement of Araki's approach, but the standard he set in the director's commentary was a decent one. I would be interested to know how and when the child actor might understand the full context of the film (either film I suppose).

The most redeeming part of the story, on an extreme scale, is that it shows how the injuries suffered by the victim of sexual sadism can and usually are repeated by the victim. In an ironic and bold manner, the teen victim turned victimizer turns on his abuser who is completely flaccid both literally and figuratively. A positive review here describes fairly well the action and motives of the film and comes to the partly to same conclusion. "In A Glass Cage shows the transmission of evil, from the torturer to the victim, as an irremediable rite of passage close to vampirism." I consider Angelo's "transmission of evil" from victim to torturer far more important than Klaus' arc in the opposite direction if the film is to have any artistic value. (Also mentioned in the review was Bryan Singer's Apt Pupil. Interestingly it also suffered from a great deal of controversy due to the treatment of minor actors).

As for the trauma, I would start with the fact that the one of the main characters, Angelo the late teen "nurse", was extremely sexy, perhaps an older Tadzio from the Mann story Death in Venice(When I read it, I chose to ignore the part where Tadzio is Polish). He was brilliantly stoic. Strangely, the actor David Sust, who played Angelo, seems to have no searchable images on the web. (The best acting came from Marisa Paredes, an extremely prolific actress who I enjoy tremendously, especially in her collaborations with Pedro Almodóvar).

A couple years later, I noticed a lover of mine named Andreas had a striking physical resemblance to Sust. It was during sex with him that I noticed the trauma for the first time. It was the seductive beauty of Sust in this brutal role that created the close link to between the sex and the violence that made the greatest impression. That, it would turn out, would be the most memorable trauma I remember suffering due to a piece of "art". It was actually kind of disconcerting to me that the scenes and images from the film would come back to me during sex with Andreas. This was mostly because I was still infatuated with this kid. He was a recent high school graduate in Pittsburgh whose parents had emigrated from Greece. He was also a very sweet and physically generous person.

In retrospect I am happy to report now that my most striking memory of Andreas was his divinely potent smell that only an 18 year old Mediterranean boy could have. Very distinct. Like the way extra virgin olive oil smells different from corn oil. Luckily that was the only way "virgin" could be used to describe him. Damn, the memories...

(The best I could find for an approximation).

The Secret Machines . . .

2006-04-26T22:27:00.000-07:00

Imagine if the rockin'est band you know played one of the best shows you have ever seen. Imagine yourself dancing and singing along, cheering and screaming until you voice fails. Imagine the show grows into an orgasmic crescendo of musical brilliance whose ultimate climax is only tempered by. . .

Now imagine all of this is happening as you are surrounded by the dead souls of music industry. Accountants in suits. Jaded A & R people who heard The Secret Machines once last March at 9am before a conference call about the Backstreet Boys retrospective album while listening to Clair from HR ramble on about the intricacies of direct deposit. The two pock marked web-designers who took the night off from their online roll playing games 'cause Mr. Stein's Nieces didn't want the tickets. What if no one around you cares that one of the greatest raw talents in the world of rock is putting on a legendary performance? Is it the same? Does it feel the same? Do you wonder why you are the only one dancing? Why no one knows the words to the songs? Does the moment feel the same if you aren't lost in it? If you are thinking about it this hard, isn't it already ruined?

I fell in love with TSM at Webster Hall. I went on a whim and a strong recommendation from an old bandmate. They literally blew the roof off the place (OK, sorry, they figuratively blew the roof off the place -- I hate when people say literally when they mean figuratively). They were supporting their album Now Here is Nowhere. That album is responsible for at least 1% of my hearing loss. It is that good. I spent a lot of time warming up to the new album, Ten Silver Drops. It is everything that I loved TSM for NOT being; careful, contemplative, cerebral. I want to be the last person to criticize an artist for taking a direction they feel is right, but if they really think it is right, take it to the fans.

I doubt if anyone from their organization will see this post, but I want to make my challenge public! Right here! On a blog that almost 100 people have seen! You guys need to play a show that takes you back to your roots. Come to the Polish National Home, just a mile or so from you beloved Bushwick. Do a cash only show. No velvet ropes, no record company people, and no friends of Christine! Rock like you mean it! Rock like you care!

The Secret Machines/Hiro Ballroom/Maritime Hotel/April 26,2006

Bradly . . .

2006-04-24T19:51:00.000-07:00

a little whiskey on the gums to sooth the teething
vicodin for the broken wrist after jumping off the bed
ritalin because he is too much to handle all alone
buy robitussin and gum to make it look normal
beers from the bum who charges us double
suck gas from the cool whip when mom falls asleep
break it up and snort it like the guys on miami vice
a little mary jane from d.j.'s dad's top drawer
no one remembers if the rum is 1/2 full or 3/4 full
ride our bikes cross-town and smoke it in cigar leaf like the guys we buy it from
prozac because he is sad and tired all the time
cigarettes cause we get our own booze now
deadhead asshole finances his trip selling oregon kind
acid or 'shrooms around shows
take care of the losers and smoke for free with the money we make selling swag
the supplier's got crank from the valley
we drive out to bakersfield to help him out
dude named ray ray shows us how to cook it
ketamine from the punk girl who likes our fast songs
the ecstasy from back east made us trip so hard we had to stop on a "turnpike" reststop
cocaine from the old timer who missed us open his show
heroin, "tying on the dinosaur tonight, it used to be so cool. . . one day i'm gonna lose the war"

Uncle Bob. . .

2006-04-21T19:16:00.000-07:00

Several years ago a guy named Dennis wrote a book called Guide. There were several passages that included lyrics from a band called Guided by Voices. In my mind's eye I imagined a far more cerebral band. I picked up Mag Earwig! based solely on the cover art as there are quite a few albums available in the store. The band really rocked. I fell in love. Their execution of short, riff driven songs was really impressive before you consider the depth and complexity of the lyrics.

As I dug deeper I came across the truly compelling story of Robert Pollard, the singer and primary songwriter for the band. A schoolteacher for over 10 years, he nurtured the band to "semi-fame" as some have described it as he toured each summer.

Still none of this still could prepare me for what the live show was like. I saw Pollard first in 2002 when he was still touring as Guided by Voices in support of Isolation Drills. The raw energy and showmanship takes the band to another level. Now at 48 years old Uncle BOB has not lost a step.

Last night we got there late. The train from Williamsburg literally just stopped running for over an hour just as I got there. It is among the greatest hardships of the hipster class along with finding boys sized jeans long enough to fit that can still show off their total lack of any ass. The girl at the door at the show told us they were three songs in. We found a nice spot by the recycling bin. It turned out to be a great location because the bus boy was seriously hot. Incredibly every song was better than the one before. He started off with several songs off his the new albums, From a Compound Eye and Normal Happiness. Decent tight songs that the band seemed to know well. Within ½ hour into the set he was doing songs from Mag Earwig!, Alien Lanes and other albums in between. There was no drop off with the older stuff as is sometimes the case with bands who get to smitten with their new material (Belle and Sebastian). A little strut and a swing of the mic and the crowd went crazy.

Pollard: "That's my Robert Plant move . . . you haven't seen that yet tonight!"

The intensity of the show grew with each song. My friends (both newbies) and I could not keep up the drinking pace that Pollard had set, but we tried. The guy takes about 2 chugs per beer and an hour into the show he was drinking some sort of brown liquor (Cuervo I think). The crowd cheered in respect.

Pollard: "There is nothing like approval and ice cold beer!"

We switched from beer to Wild Turkey at this point. Our generosity in tipping came back to us in spades as the bartender poured 3 very large whiskeys.

Pollard Salutes.

The band was tight. I am pretty sure I recognized one of the guys from the last incarnation of Guided by Voices. He was the only other guy on the stage not young enough to be Pollard's son. I don't love the venue (Irving Plaza) but the room really worked for Pollard. Surprisingly I didn't need the earplugs I brought. The band's intensity came from musicianship and shear finesse not by brute force.

He finished off the set with a son called 50 year old baby.

Pollard: "The song is not about me cause I'm only 48!"

From my perch by the recycle bin I was able to start a chant of "Uncle Bob" to entice our hero back to the stage.

Things start getting fuzzy from here on in as we felt obliged to have more whiskey during the break. I just had to go right into the center – driven to dance.

Pollard: "....and wear my Maroon Blazer all the time."

I don't remember how I got home. I know it wasn't the L train.

Next week: The Secret Machines.

PS. Dennis, pick up “Now here is Nowhere” by The Secret Machines (it might also still stream on their website). This band is not about introspection. They come to rock you.

Adam . . .

2006-04-05T17:57:00.000-07:00

"I don't understand why you like that shaggy, can't grow a mustache, 70's junkie look", said the "straight" guy at the next desk. He would only point out Ken Dolls to gauge my reaction. To see if I am reallly gay.

He was right. He couldn't understand. I don't either and I don't really want to. As long as I can remember -- since the 70s actually -- there has been this allure. Roll out from underneeth your Dodge Charger Adam.

I wish he weren't a great basketball player. I wish he were another spaced out hipster making Lattes at the corner.

Adam Morrison is like a Big Star song. He's like speed before it was disco. Like barebacking 30 years before became "in" again.

He goes ape shit on the court. Especially at the end of a game. Win or lose he is dramatic..

There is little sexual about my obsession with him. Nothing even erotic really.

I want to smoke a joint with him. Lie there next to him. Listen to him talk as he falls asleep the night after a game.

The pot would put him in that wonderful state where the body is exhausted and the mind is racing.

He mubbles in the bed next to me . . . stream of consciousness:

I am so ugly. . .

I hate those pictures I look like Lurch.

I get all nervous talking after the game,

like . . . I think I am going to forget what I said or um. . .

what I am saying. . .

or like just forget what words are.

I know what I want to say but I don't know how to talk like in my mouth,

like the face muscles don't remember how to make the words

and I can't breath out at all!

I think of superman

and how he is always shifting his eyes,

but that's it.

That's all he can do.

Just look around.

Elliott . . .

2006-03-19T13:35:00.000-08:00

I'll fake it through the day with some help from Johnnie Walker Red . . .

It's actually one of me least favorite Elliott Smith songs lyrically. It's about a lost lover that you still yearn for but who was so awful for you in every way. It would take another 7 years to know the pain of those particular circumstances (Bradley), but the music always had an immediate grip on me. Perhaps it was the driving 3/4 time and the tumult of the cord progression that kept me fascinated, but it was the voice behind the song that got me hooked.

I was sitting in a Jeep Grand Cherokee in the parking lot of a supermarket in Summit, New Jersey when I heard him first. I was with my nephew who had passed out in his car seat. NPR was profiling an obscure singer/songwriter who had been in an even more obscure Portland Oregon rock band called Heatmiser. He had written a song for a not so obscure Gus Van Sant film. Elliott's song was already nominated for Best Song, but would surely lose to a now "has been" French Canadian singer who's song's nauseating grandiosity was surpassed only by the movie for which it was "written". (In the sadest of all after words to his life, her name appeared in almost every one of his obituaries).

I bought the soundtrack to Goodwill Hunting which contains Miss Misery and four other Elliott Smith songs. It's worth having just because it is the only place to get the studio version of that song.

I often read posts on Sweet Adeline dot net by some girl's college-type sad sack who fantasizes about how if she were with Elliott he wouldn't be so sad or at least they would be sad together and that would be ok. I am she at heart.

is it wrong to name a guitar?

2006-03-19T13:06:00.000-08:00

OK I am a total dork, but I had to have one. This guitar is older than me. It's a 1969-71. This guitar has a reputation as a forgotten step child of the Dreadnought style guitars. I played a '66 Martin that a guy wanted $2500 for. This guitar is better . . . or at least feels better to someone who got it for an eigth of that. And of course it's the guitar he played . . .

What is with the Serpico thing?

2006-03-11T10:18:00.000-08:00

I am extremely paranoid about being perceived as being arrogant or vein. With that said, I am arrogant and vein, but only in the way people with low self-esteme or self doubt are.
Not to long ago, the time came to change my instant messanger "handle". The handle contained the word "boy". Now I don't consider myself a "boy" then nor do I now. I simply named the "handle" after a Belle & Sebastian song I really liked. Anyhow, realizing that the name selected distracted from the main goal for which it was created, hooking up or meeting guys, I decided I needed a change.
I decided I needed a name that would evoke a sexy persona that guys could relate to and would conjure an image for them that I could roughly emulate. I remembered the Al Pacino film Cruisin' and thought, ok . . . um, no. But as I was searching on his name I came accross stills from Serpico a classic from about the same era. Now I had known about the film and the person on whom it was based, but I had never seen the film. As I looked through the stills and posters I was hooked. One great upside is that Pacino in the film goes from clean shaven to mustache to full beard and from short hair to long hair. I do the same general tranistion each year at least once. I figured if the image did conjure something positive for guys they would likely be into facial hair and frankly sort of scruffy guys.
Well that is most of the story of BrooklynSerpico. A couple people have picked up on it. Oh well, its post-modernism, i got to resemble someone. (I passed on the IRA soldier motif since terrorists are so not in now).