Stella

This is Stella. As you may have guessed Stella is a dog. To understand Stella, I should start with the seemingly banal fact that she is a huge Yankees fan. If there is a game on and I go to visit her, she’ll be listening. What might this say about her personality? Well the thing about Stella is that she only respects power and not just power as potential power, but raw power expressed. She sees winning and control as tantamount to life and death. We quibble over the $200+ million dollar payroll and the fairness of such inequities and she simply scoffs. “Of course” she says “if you have $200 million to spend to win you do it. If you don’t have $200 million you lose, sorry.” Well that’s just Stella I guess. I once saw her latch on to the face of a dog 3 times her size because he just considered eating her food. It took three grown men to separate them. I fear she would be a Republican if she cared about politics. Oh, also Stella is dominant heterosexual pedophile. If I take her to the dog park she is always trying to mount boy puppies. She humps away as if she had the equipment to do so. In this respect I can kinda understand her. I mean if I were a dog I might do the same thing. Just look at those puppy dog eyes. They are just asking for it.

Oh yeah, I hate the Yankees only slightly less than the Dallas Cowboys.