Tony likes to bareback teen rentboys!

I know this guy Tony. He works for the city. He is a bureaucrat in the office of procurement or some shit like that. Anyhow, as you can see from his instant messanger name he lives in Bensonhurst in a rather large apartment. Everything in his apartment is as cheesy as possible while still only being either white or black in colour (read porcelain dog sculpture).

Tony loves cocaine and hustlers. I met him in 1998 or 99 when guys still used AOL to hookup. I used think he sleaziness was kinda cool. He is kinda hot except that he is a jerk and has an almost incomprehensible Brooklyn accent.

Anyhow, I haven't hung out with him for like 3 or 4 years, but he still messages me from time to time to ask me about all the hot boys I fuck. Sometimes I tell him the truth and sometimes I make shit up (depending on how I am doing). The other day Tony messages me to see if I'll join him when he buys this kid from Minnesota. Here is their conversation:

BensonhurstDude: hey, I like your pics. I send mine. i would love to chat with you.
BoiBabyBLue: hi, scort only here sorry if you're not interested... otherwise hit me back!
Bensonhurst: Dude. just might be. your are really cute

BoiBabyBlue: thanks!

BensonhurstDude: is that you getting fucked or you fucking in that pic?

BoiBabyBlue: hehe, ohyeah that one. me getting fucked

BensonhurstDude: nice, rates? into?

BoiBabyBlue: y don't you tell me what you want and we'll work something out

me getting fucked... rates depend on travel/what you want to etc... so why

don't you tell me what you want and we'll work something out

BensonhurstDude: i would love to fuck you. neg here. i can pick you up if you want.

where are you?

BoiBabyBlue: 200 for an hour but I'm not in NYC right now...

BensonhurstDude: damn, when you coming?

BoiBabyBlue: i'm moving back June 15th

BensonhurstDude: awesome, can't wait.

ill list you.

u have a sugar daddy you are moving in with or just taking care of stuff

on your own?

u perfer bareback?

BoiBabyBlue: i'm moving in with my bf, no sugar daddy just scort...bb is extra

BensonhurstDude: cool, how much to BB and shoot my load inside?

BoiBabyBlue: 250 for bb 275 to cum inside

BensonhurstDude: done. u looking to get poz? just curious. 100% clean here.

BoiBabyBlue: no looking to NEVER EVER get poz

BensonhurstDude: awesome. how come you are moving to NYC?

BoiBabyBlue: I used to liev there moved away for a show and now am moving back

BensonhurstDude: cool, u are an actor?

BoiBabyBlue: yeah went to college out there

BensonhurstDude: cool, can't wait to meet you

BoiBabyBlue: awesome

Anyhow, Tony sent me the barebacking pic. This 19 year old kid really does do it. The pic up there isn't the one from Tony. I decided to just use the pic of a pornstar instead, but "BoiBabyBlue" is actually cuter than that kid. I figured I would blog about it to ensure that I won't do it. Plus I don't do coke anymore. Although I do have the kid's email and evidently he will be here soon! Comment if you want me to pass it on to you!

Jesse . . .

barely more solid than the souls he tried to save

or maybe his beauty betrayed the wear his hardest years had caused

just old on the inside

to him i would always be one of them

the taker

the buyer

the abuser

if i had nothing maybe he would hide his contempt

if i had something to sell maybe he would love me too

Tras el cristal

Someone challenged me today to recall a film, book or TV show that had caused a great trauma (here is the first of his list of 10 posts, 2-9 should be there on the right).



The first film to come to mind to me was Tras el cristal by the Spanish director Agustí Villaronga (released in English under the name In a Glass Cage). I saw it for the first time in college. I was around 19. It left an indelible mark. To get an idea of the kind of things that happen in the film you can read a nice concise summary of what goes on in this Australian Government Document in which the film was refused classification.



I only rented the film once in the early 90s. For me, reading the memo brings the most traumatic major scenes back. I might actually consider the Australian Government's position to be the right one. While the work has a right to exist as there is no explicit call to violence, the act of having child actors (presumably as young as 8?) enact the scenes is a little fucked up and unethical. I am reminded of Gregg Araki's discussion of the diligence needed to direct child actors in sexual situations in Mysterious Skin. He mentioned the need for the children to be filmed separately and for them to actually not have a clear understanding of what the scene is about. The nature of the scenes in Araki's film, based on Scott Heim's most excellent book, hardly compare in their brutality of what is depicted in Tras el Cristal.



Strangely, I don't think I would see it again and so I don't recall if it is possible that the scenes could be ethically shot in the way that Mysterious Skin was. This is not a blanket endorsement of Araki's approach, but the standard he set in the director's commentary was a decent one. I would be interested to know how and when the child actor might understand the full context of the film (either film I suppose).



The most redeeming part of the story, on an extreme scale, is that it shows how the injuries suffered by the victim of sexual sadism can and usually are repeated by the victim. In an ironic and bold manner, the teen victim turned victimizer turns on his abuser who is completely flaccid both literally and figuratively. A positive review here describes fairly well the action and motives of the film and comes to the partly to same conclusion. "In A Glass Cage shows the transmission of evil, from the torturer to the victim, as an irremediable rite of passage close to vampirism." I consider Angelo's "transmission of evil" from victim to torturer far more important than Klaus' arc in the opposite direction if the film is to have any artistic value. (Also mentioned in the review was Bryan Singer's Apt Pupil. Interestingly it also suffered from a great deal of controversy due to the treatment of minor actors).



As for the trauma, I would start with the fact that the one of the main characters, Angelo the late teen "nurse", was extremely sexy, perhaps an older Tadzio from the Mann story Death in Venice(When I read it, I chose to ignore the part where Tadzio is Polish). He was brilliantly stoic. Strangely, the actor David Sust, who played Angelo, seems to have no searchable images on the web. (The best acting came from Marisa Paredes, an extremely prolific actress who I enjoy tremendously, especially in her collaborations with Pedro Almodóvar).



A couple years later, I noticed a lover of mine named Andreas had a striking physical resemblance to Sust. It was during sex with him that I noticed the trauma for the first time. It was the seductive beauty of Sust in this brutal role that created the close link to between the sex and the violence that made the greatest impression. That, it would turn out, would be the most memorable trauma I remember suffering due to a piece of "art". It was actually kind of disconcerting to me that the scenes and images from the film would come back to me during sex with Andreas. This was mostly because I was still infatuated with this kid. He was a recent high school graduate in Pittsburgh whose parents had emigrated from Greece. He was also a very sweet and physically generous person.



In retrospect I am happy to report now that my most striking memory of Andreas was his divinely potent smell that only an 18 year old Mediterranean boy could have. Very distinct. Like the way extra virgin olive oil smells different from corn oil. Luckily that was the only way "virgin" could be used to describe him. Damn, the memories...


(The best I could find for an approximation).