Hanging Out After the Show

Chet: Cool party, you know the girl whose place this is?
Sammy: Yeah, Benny – she works at the club with us.
Chet: Oh, cool. Everyone at the venue was cool and really helpful with the show tonight.
Sammy: Thanks, most of us who work there are in bands too so we know what it’s like. Which band are you with?
Chet: The opener, Brothers and Sisters. Well actually I’m just the all purpose roadie and backup percussionist and driver.
Sammy: Very cool. You guys have a great sound. I loved that song you closed with, Without You. My band is trying that layered multi-vocalist thing as well – me, Benny, Stuart, who you met, and Pete the guy over there talking to Benny.
Chet: Oh that dude with the freaky long hair and the beard?
Sammy: Yeah that’s Pete. He’s my roommate too.
Chet: Ah, he kinda weirds me out. I keep catching him checking me out.
Sammy: Ha, yeah, well he kinda likes dudes and well, you are. . . um, handsome.
Chet: (Laughs).
Sammy: I like your tattoo.
Chet: Oh, thanks. Hey, can I bum a smoke?

This Blog Needs Women!

Just like a fag to go on and on about droll and vacuous boys whose only redeeming quality is their ability to disassociate during sex enough that I can feed my narcissism without being interrupted by their needs.

With that said, I can't claim that any of these women are real redheads, but they are awesome composers and performers.

Suzanne Vega

Today I am
A small blue thing
Like a marble
Or an eye

With my knees against my mouth
I am perfectly round
I am watching you

Tori Amos

Years go by and I'm here still waiting Withering where some snowman was
Mirror mirror where's the crystal palace
But I only can see the myself
Skating around the truth who I am
But I know dad the ice is getting thin

Neko Case

Another suicide
On the 405
The Black Dahlia
She smiles and smiles
It’s the same old town that bled her dry
One more starlet one more time
Bound to make it do or die

josh

me: dude, that gun is real isn't it?
josh: yeah, it's my dad's. he says being an assistant DA automatically makes him a deputy sheriff in this county.
me: oh right. . . um he isn't coming home tonight right? (nervous giggle)
josh: (pause . . . blank stare) no, u have those pills?
me: yeah sure here, my co-worker said she got a different script anyhow, she said these made her barf
josh: right, what did she get this time?
me: i don't remember, but i think these ones are stronger anyhow
josh: cool, these are all for me?
me: yeah, yeah. . . um, its not my thing.
josh: ok, thanks
me: so you really like looking at yourself in the mirror with that gun to your head don't you?
josh: um, yeah.
me: what do you think about?
josh: movies where dudes get their brains get splattered on a wall.
me: makes sense. do you want to die?
josh: of course.
me: oh. you into pain?
josh: not really.
me: cool, cool. but you won't really do it right?
josh: i want to watch it. like in super slow motion. if i could do it and be outside my body and be able to watch it again and again for eternity i would do it. but i know if i really do it i won't be able to watch. it'll just all be over. and no one would be able to appreciate it. especially my fucking asshole father.
me: true. hey why do you snort it?
josh: cause it's gonna make me barf. i don't want to waste any.
me: ah

Dan Bejar

I can't get enough Dan Bejar these days (a.k.a. Destroyer). Brilliant lyrics! For random bits go here. For the entire body of work lyrically go here. Also, check out the album Your Blues for his most cohesive and recent work or you can hear his influence everywhere on Twin Cinema his latest album with Canadian "Supergroup" The New Pornographers.

Mixed Messages

So my longest running current fuck buddy calls late at night this past week. He never calls late. He never, in fact, actually calls either. I usually get an instant message or a txt and he always (historically) comes during daylight. This schedule isn't really strange as he works in some downtown bar. The kind of bar that has a permanently sticky floor, low drop ceilings and no glasses (Everyone gets plastic no exception!). He likes it that way 'cause he has to clean up and at the end of the night he gets lazy and tosses the ice and leftover liquid towards the edges of the concrete floor where it can easily drain away.

Anyhow when I fuck him he is usually in this brain-dead, hung-over, spaced-out state that makes the violence of the sex almost imperceptible to him (Of course that is my impression based on his affect). Generally, if I am not rough enough with him I hear about it later and he punishes me by withholding sex for a longer period of time -- several weeks or a month instead of every week or two.

Well, the other night he comes over at night -- strange. And he is clearly a little messed up as he is slurring his words and has that clumsy sway as he walks. For some reason I decided to kiss him shortly after we got naked. I've kissed him before, but only in the context of humiliating him (don't ask me why he feels that way about it). The kiss obviously pisses him off 'cause he becomes violent with me. Swinging, slapping and basically trying to squirm away. As I try to subdue him he (I think accidentally) head butts me. I instantly and instinctively punch him in the mouth. Surprised but not stunned he holds his mouth and rolls over for me passively. I continue about my business as he claws into the arm I have locked around my neck.

Needless to say when I am done I am slightly concerned that I had gone too far as we had clearly decided that while most things go, bruises above the neck were clearly verboten. He seems pretty pissed and retreats to the bathroom with his clothes. He emerges quickly and heads right for the door without our usual perfunctory parting handshake.

Well talk about mixed messages? He contacted me the next day online and was particularly turned on by the entire encounter as he passed out later that night jerking off for the third time thinking about it! Well maybe I am getting old, but I just wanted to kiss him. Obviously he isn't cool with that.

Oh well.

Funny.

Wouldn't this be funny?

Wouldn't it be funny if there were some sort of global disaster like a nuclear war or a giant meteorite hitting the Earth? And wouldn't it be even funnier if we had to scavenge for food during a brief Summer in order survive the cold desolate Winters? And wouldn't it be even funnier if all the people who got gastric bypass surgery were unable to store enough fat to survive this nuclear Winter? I think that would be funny. We can laugh about it as we eat Al Roker.



Funny right?