Mixed Messages

So my longest running current fuck buddy calls late at night this past week. He never calls late. He never, in fact, actually calls either. I usually get an instant message or a txt and he always (historically) comes during daylight. This schedule isn't really strange as he works in some downtown bar. The kind of bar that has a permanently sticky floor, low drop ceilings and no glasses (Everyone gets plastic no exception!). He likes it that way 'cause he has to clean up and at the end of the night he gets lazy and tosses the ice and leftover liquid towards the edges of the concrete floor where it can easily drain away.

Anyhow when I fuck him he is usually in this brain-dead, hung-over, spaced-out state that makes the violence of the sex almost imperceptible to him (Of course that is my impression based on his affect). Generally, if I am not rough enough with him I hear about it later and he punishes me by withholding sex for a longer period of time -- several weeks or a month instead of every week or two.

Well, the other night he comes over at night -- strange. And he is clearly a little messed up as he is slurring his words and has that clumsy sway as he walks. For some reason I decided to kiss him shortly after we got naked. I've kissed him before, but only in the context of humiliating him (don't ask me why he feels that way about it). The kiss obviously pisses him off 'cause he becomes violent with me. Swinging, slapping and basically trying to squirm away. As I try to subdue him he (I think accidentally) head butts me. I instantly and instinctively punch him in the mouth. Surprised but not stunned he holds his mouth and rolls over for me passively. I continue about my business as he claws into the arm I have locked around my neck.

Needless to say when I am done I am slightly concerned that I had gone too far as we had clearly decided that while most things go, bruises above the neck were clearly verboten. He seems pretty pissed and retreats to the bathroom with his clothes. He emerges quickly and heads right for the door without our usual perfunctory parting handshake.

Well talk about mixed messages? He contacted me the next day online and was particularly turned on by the entire encounter as he passed out later that night jerking off for the third time thinking about it! Well maybe I am getting old, but I just wanted to kiss him. Obviously he isn't cool with that.

Oh well.